tidbits of boredom

The less people comment on my blog, the more I begin to feel like it is my personal journal which is safe from all eyes. Or at least the eyes of anyone who cares. It's just me and my laptop, which begrudgingly turns on only after I bribe it with the prospect of maybe only using it for another year. Assuming it doesn't start a fire in my room or anything.

I'm reading chapters from my book on communication, and I came across something that's super relevant to me - mind reading and perception checking.

Mind reading is when you assume you understand what another person is thinking and feeling. Say my roommate starts acting cranky. My thought process might go like this: um.. Is he upset because I want a ride somewhere? Is it because of all this traffic? Maybe I'm doing something to annoy him and I just don't know. Maybe I should just sit here and shrink into this car seat until we get home.

The problem is that I'm never doing more than just guessing. I impose my perspectives on him instead of figuring out what's really going on.

The solution to this, simple as it sounds, is perception checking. By running my guesses by him and finding out what he has to say, a lot of confusion and misunderstanding can be avoided. The main thing to remember is that when going through this process, I have to come off as tentative instead of being dogmatic or accusatory. It starts with me stating an observation; 'you seem cranky.' Then I can see if he agrees; 'Do you feel cranky right now?' Then I can try and work out what's up; 'Is there a reason why? Maybe this crazy traffic or maybe you're tired?' The hard part is trying to keep him from having to be defensive. Then I get to hear what I want; 'Well I was up at 6:30am and I just want to get home and relax already.' And that's it.

The thing is, everyone loves to mind read but when it comes to checking perceptions, we all get scared. We're afraid to be wrong and we don't want to seem crazy for even noticing what we do sometimes. Also, it's real hard to bring up observations without them coming off as accusations. The coolest part about this is it is something that I've learned to do on my own, just recently, but before I read it in this book. Now I feel like a totally awesome communicator.

And that means maybe I can get married and not go insane because me and ant are both fans of perception checking. I never feel afraid to point out when he's spacey or not listening or sleepy.

For a second here, I thought this topic would be boring my audience... Then I remembered-- I don't have one! /but let's just check. Is this boring you, person out there who has nothing better to do than read this?

Let me recommend something slightly more interesting. The following sentence is grammatically correct:
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

How awesome is that? Does anyone get it? I can post the explanation if anyone so desires.