japan is fun. i have no money left hahaha. sarah you should pick me up at the airport, if youre reading this. i get on on the evening of june 5. i think its around 7ish, ill call you? the funny thing is i will have no idea as to whether or not you even got this until we happen upon another hotspot... so... i love rtd i guess.

hope my apt hasnt burned down by the time i get back....

annoyances

here's a recent list of things that annoy me like hell
1. exboyfriend(its singular on purpose)
2. inability to be honest, as a personality flaw
3. lack of respect for people
4. horrible music
5. girls
6. boys
7. dogs
8. fooseball
9. everything

楽しかったとき

sweet

i got my cdl license yesterday. i still cant believe i passed. i had to parallel park a bus--can't see the real world application in that except for using your mirrors a lot. today, i go and train on how to drive all the other buses that are cab-forward(imagine the bus is gold and black though)y, meaning your wheels are behind you. imagine driving but you turn when it looks like you are already running over the curb. crazy shit yo. i finally got net in my place, thanks to the guys below me. the same guys who play sheisty music that vibrates through my floor. free net makes it quasi-tolerable.

odyssey of the mind's world final is coming to boulder on thursday. from that day til next wednesday, i'll have something like 50 hours of driving to do. serious cash for my vacation, assuming i get paid in a decent fashion.

anyway, i work in an hour, and i want to nap.

the title is securely mounted with no cracks or leaks

so i got the job as a bus driver. i've spent 8 hours a day, getting all up in the engine, learning every single piece of equipment on the bus, how to check it and how to know if it is fubered. securely mounted is a key phrase. i use it at least 50 times while doing a pre-trip of the bus, which is when i check every single nut and bolt and anything possible, before i leave. the management expects me and the other chick to pick all this up and be able to drive 6 different types of buses by next tuesday. that includes the long bendy one i always think is going to hit something. by the time my cdl permit gets here by mail, i wil have tested for the actual license. it's all happening so fast!

i don't have internet in my apartment, but that should be up by next week, too. this is the first time i haven't been lazy to go to campus. in fact, this is the first time i've been on campus outside of a gold bus since my last final. it's nice to not have a class to be at.

i'll get back into the swing of bloggin' after they give me dsl. funny story: getting highspeed dsl is cheaper than getting lowspeed and a phone line, because they won't give you lowspeed without a phone line. somehow this is logic,... but then again it is qwest soooo i can't say too much.

the ebb and wane of stress in my life

3 finals down, one left
took my ua, found out i don't find out the results for a couple days
moved pretty much everything out, still have a leering bag of shoes (that i never wear)
i've walked to my apt and back about 5x already today and i've got a few more trips to go
what do i do w/dried roses from 9 months ago, from a boy i broke up w/?
party tomorrow night, i want to find myself gone in every aspect, but if i don't pass the ua, i'd essentially fuck chances of passing it again...

i need more grape soda, stat!

slow down and watch the world pass by with me

yesterday i was all riled up about everything. about my japanese final and passing urine analysis and moving out and drama. i took my final, did aok and we went out to gramazzios to celebrate. walking around the hill and listening to my friends talk, i had the weirdest feeling. one of them is preg, has plans for marriage and finishing school and all of this. the other is also finishing school and it can't come any sooner for her, she's been here like 6 years. i'd wanna leave too. i'm a measly sophomore, triple major in nothing useful, with no plans outside of driving a gold bus as a job. i don't know where life is taking me or what i needed to do to make it all work out better. i looked at everyone walking around on the hill and felt like it was all moving in fast forward. people are graduating, moving on to bigger and better things, doing whatever it is that inspired them to go to cu in the first place. the world was passing me in fast forward and i couldn't catch up. i don't even think i needed to, but it seemed like the thing to do. pick up an internship, do something for the world, decide what i want to do when i graduate, something anything. i do nothing instead.

back at the dorms, im talking to friends online, and one of my homies says he'll slow down and watch the world pass by with me. and all of a sudden, it sounds like the best thing i could possibly do. so he drops by my new apt and we chat until i start hearing the neighbors' music through the floor. back at his place, its already 1100. we start chatting about anything,e verything, whatever. lounging on his bed was the closest to bliss i'd been in weeks. jus laying with nowhere to go, no obligations nagging at my gut. its 1250pm. time is flying. we talk about life experiences and where we think things are headed in this world. its 205 and we venture out to get water again. 330 and i'm running fingers through his hair, enjoying the fact that it won't tangle. the world is in a hurry to get somewhere and we lay on his bed, oblivious, saturating our sense of touch in each other. i no longer feel anything outside of the immediate physical. 6am we pass out to the sun rise, only to wake up to the maintenance people running an air compressor at 8am and nail gunning god knows what to the roof. i look outside, and the clouds are clearing, it's going to be a beautiful day.